Navigating Loss - Allowing Grief to Unfold with Grace

Loss is one of the deepest invitations into self-love we will ever receive. It is raw, untamed, and often arrives without warning, reshaping the world we once knew. Whether it’s the passing of a beloved family member or companion, the end of a cherished relationship, or any profound shift that leaves us feeling untethered, grief reminds us of the depth of our love—and the tenderness required to move through it.

Recently, I lost my sweet girl, Nellie, after 15 years of unwavering companionship. This closely followed the loss of our snuggly boy, Bacon just six months prior. Suddenly, for the first time in 20 years, we were "people without dogs". I found myself faced with a love that no longer had a physical place to go. Their absence was deafening. The spaces they once filled—the quiet presence beside me, the knowing look in their eyes, the familiar sound of them shuffling through the house—were suddenly empty. And in that emptiness, grief arrived (as it tends to do).

But what I’ve come to understand as I navigate loss (this isn't my first rodeo - pet or otherwise - nor will it sadly be the last) is this: Grief, in any form, is not something to “get over.” It is something to move through—with grace, with patience, and most importantly, with love. And the greatest act of self-love we can offer ourselves in these moments is permission.

✨ Permission to Feel, Without Judgment

There is no “right” way to grieve. Some days, you may feel overwhelming sadness. Other days, you might find unexpected laughter in a host of memories. And some days, you might feel numb, as if your heart needs rest from the weight of it all. Grief is not linear; it ebbs and flows, appearing when we least expect it. The kindest thing we can do for ourselves is to allow it to unfold without trying to rush the process. Notice what you need from moment to moment, and give that to yourself.

✨ Permission to Rest

Grief is exhausting—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It asks us to slow down, to tend to our hearts, to retreat when necessary. It can take time to realize that being “productive” isn’t always a measure of healing. Rest often is the healing. Allowing yourself extra sleep, quiet mornings, moments of stillness—these are acts of self-care that can offer your heart space to mend.

✨ Permission to Honor What Was, While Embracing What Is

At first, we might resist the idea of change. We may not want the world to move forward without this soul, job, or relationship in it. But love doesn’t disappear; it transforms. It shows up in the way we care for ourselves, in the lessons we've learned (in the case of Nellie, those of loyalty, presence, and unconditional devotion), and in the way we get to carry that deep understanding of grief on to others going through similar circumstances. Finding ways to honor our loved ones and experiences, whether through rituals, storytelling, or simply carrying forward the lessons these things brought into our lives, allows us to grow in love, even through the pain.

✨ Permission to Seek Support

Grief can feel isolating, but we are not meant to walk through it alone. Sharing memories, talking through the emotions, or even just allowing someone to sit beside us in our sadness can be profoundly healing. Whether through a trusted friend, a coach, or a journal where we pour out our unfiltered emotions, expressing our grief is an act of self-love.

✨ Permission to Love Again

For many of us, the fear of moving forward after loss is real. We wonder if embracing joy again means betraying the love we lost. But love is never diminished—it expands. Loving myself through my grief meant opening my heart to the truth that Nellie’s presence in my life was never meant to teach me how to hold on—it was meant to teach me how to love fully. And part of love is allowing ourselves to embrace the new chapters that await us, even when they feel uncertain.

Navigating Loss as an Expression of Love

At its core, grief is love with nowhere to go. It is the heart’s way of remembering, of holding on, of making sense of what has changed. And just as we loved deeply during, we must also learn to love ourselves deeply in loss.

If you are navigating grief, know this: You are allowed to feel it all. You are allowed to move through it in your own time. You are allowed to soften into love, even as your heart aches.

And most importantly, you are not alone.